Wheat bread

"Gross Dad!" I say with a look on my face that would make you think something just rotted in front of me. "I only want white bread! Not wheat."

Recently my 6 year-old nephew, Jayden had about this same conversation with my brother. Replace the word, 'dad' with 'Chad'; and you've pretty much got the gist of it. Chad responds, "have you ever tried it?" "No," Jayden says. "Because it's gross." Chad smiles, probably because he remembered himself doing the exact same thing. "Well how do you know it's gross if you don't try it? It could give you strong 'muss-culls'." Chad says, flexing.

"Nu-uh." retorts Jayden. "And its muscles. Not muss-culls."

"No, it's muss-culls. And you won't know if it's good for you unless you try it."

"Okay." says Jayden. Continuing for the next week to flex his wheat-built biceps.

President Uchtdorf once stated, "There are times when we have to step into the darkness in faith, confident that God will place solid ground beneath our feet once we do."1

Our natural human nature is to escape. To fly away from something new, something hard, something unfamiliar. It isn't until we take that step into the darkness-that we begin to taste of His fruit. That we begin to better understand why and what He wants us to know.

I challenge you to not run away. To have the strength to step into the darkness. To kneel down and ask Heavenly Father to help you.

Come on....try it.

It will help build your muss-culls.

This is about you

Now, just so you know, this post is about you.

Yes, you. I am talking about you.

I was thinking about you the other day. I was sitting in church trying to stay attentive and avoid "the tap" from my wife. You know, the one where they're wanting to whack you over the head with the hymn book because they can clearly tell you're merely singing every other word until the chorus of the song comes...then you sing a little bit louder? Yeah, that tap.

My mind was off track that day. Because of you, and myself as well; but I was pondering about you.

I was wondering why you don't listen. Why I don't listen. Why do you think you know how to run your life? Why do you argue? Why don't you change?

I was talking about you the other day to a friend. After asking them how life was, and the normal chit-chat, I asked them about how dating life is going.

"Non-existent" they responded.

In asking why, I began thinking more about you. I began thinking about me.

"I don't think the right one is out there." they said.

You and my friend are very similar. You see - there is a lack of faith.

We are here to be tested. To see how we respond to life. For some, it is sickness and for others it's money. For some it is to see where our priorities lay. It takes faith to get married and venture out on your own. It takes faith to repent. It takes faith to admit that you are wrong. I think a trap you and I fall into is that we begin to feel that we're doing everything right, so we don't need someone to give us advice and to help us. What's ironic about that, is that once we stop trying to listen to others, we lose faith in them. God has brought you and I together to edify and uplift each other. Part of that may mean trying what they suggest. Like when Christ asked his disciple to walk on water. Having faith it will work out.

But for some reason, your reason is different than mine. You are afraid to get out of the boat. Why?

"Because I'm not sure what's going to happen."
"Because I don't have enough money."
"Because I don't want to get hurt again."

Reach out to Christ. Do something that will help you grow your seed of faith. Not hide it under a bushel.

No Juevos

Have you ever wanted to tell someone how you really feel, and then you don't do it?

Have you ever known that if you say you're sorry (even when you may not need to be) that a relationship can begin to heal....and you don't do it?

Why not?

Because you're scared, intimidated, worried, shy, upset, prideful.

You have no courage. You have no juevos.

That's why.

I will always remember the quote from Dr. Jason Carroll of my marriage prep class. We were talking about communicating with others and he said, "It's not 'if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all,' instead it should be if you have nothing nice to say, figure out a nice way to say it."

But doing that takes courage. It takes change.

I find it interesting that people expect people to understand people. But people need training. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you needed to learn how to go to the bathroom in a bathroom, just as much as my good dog friend Bella needed to learn that same concept- only outside.

We all need training, to become the kind of people we should become.

How do you do that?

I believe that it starts by being perceptive. Putting yourself in others shoes. If you don't like something, chances are someone else doesn't either. If you like something, chances are someone else does too. I don't mean your favorite color, or sports team, but a behavior.

If you like when you're house is clean, chances are someone else in your house does too. If you don't like the look of dirty dishes in the sink, or the feeling of being stood up for something, chances are someone else thinks the same. Have the courage to be perceptive and clean up. Don't focus solely on your wants and needs. Sometimes your needs are coinciding with those around you. But if you put the blinders of busy-ness, and 'I want things my way'.... you'll have no time to see how you can serve others (including your family).

Have the courage to notice those around you. Have the humility to admit that you can be trained, and when you mess up - go back and seek feedback to be better trained the next time.

Get some juevos, be perceptive, accept that you need training.

Now- if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go walk to my next class...

Oh yeah - I had to be trained to walk too, hmmm.

Christmas trees, Campfires and Zambonis

I have never decorated a fake Christmas tree. Let alone put one up. I snapped in all the branches, wrapped the lights around it, and hung up my ornaments.

The tinsel came later, don’t worry.

After everything was in place, KacyAnn flipped the switch and we sat on our couch looking at our newly finished project. (Trust me, it was a project. I’ve grown up with real trees me whole life…you pop it in the stand and then a week later pinecones are growing on the top. Real ones!)

“I love Christmas trees.” KacyAnn says to me. (If she had the time, she would have included “I love Christmas snow, I love Christmas carols, I love Christmas music, I love Christmas food, I love --- you get the idea. She really LOVES Christmas.)

“They’re like campfires and Zambonis. They bring peace to you.” She continued.

Now, it was after midnight at this point…my brain was operating in tired mode. I’d guess its somewhere along the lines of being drunk, minus the morning wakeup fun.

“Zambonis?” I asked; making sure I heard Zambonis and not zucchini or zebras or something.

“Yes, Zambonis.” She said. “Everyone stops to watch it, just like trees and campfires. It’s peaceful.”

Zambonis give you a fresh start. You skate around your rink of life, at times you dig your skate in the ice, other times you go too quickly. Then, periodically you have to slow down, step away, and repent, forgive, or apologize. You have to pull out your “Zamboni” and give yourself or someone else…a fresh coat of ice.

Does it take time to clean the ice? Yep.

But it makes life so much more…

Peaceful.

Thanks for giving Consequences

The turkey has them because he is a turkey.

My body will have them starting about at 2:00 pm MDT tomorrow. Because I ate too much.

Consequences.

Good or bad, happy or sad, hard or easy. They happen. If the best prevention of stress is preparation, then how do you prepare to prevent without first preparing to stress out along the way? (Go back...read again. Better?)

It's harder than it looks and easier than it sounds, (what am I, the Riddler from Batman all of the sudden?)

You say thank you.

Your eyes are opened a little wider, you find you have more in you than you thought you did. Because the consequences brought you there. They may be consequences of others choices that you are up against, they may be choices that are perfectly fine in all aspects, or they may be consequences of you being mortal.

Every person has a context for why they think and feel what they think and feel. Example, we'll play a quick game... Think of three words for the word "brown"....Anything. Go!

What did you think of? You want to know what I thought of?

Fish, baseball bat, hot cocoa (don't judge me).

Did you think of all of those? Probably not. We don't know where everyone is coming from. And at times people aren't willing to do anything different to change where they are. You are the person who has to decide whether you'll change or toss it aside. Whether you'll strive for those new goals that seem afar, or just be content to stay where you are.

This year, give thanks for giving of consequences. See them through His eyes. Not yours. You'll begin to see the miracles around you. You'll love your loved ones more. Selfishness will begin to melt away and the spirit of giving for the Holidays will begin to take hold of you.

That is...if you're willing to do what is needed to face those kind of consequences.

Your choice.

I just want a car

I have a tendency to be quick to judge. My personality demands perfection from myself, and at times I demand that perfection from my wife, my friends, coworkers, or family. But...the other day KacyAnn told me a story that has given me a new perspective...I hope it will do the same for you.

She was in her developmental biology class. The teacher began a discussion about genetic tendencies, and how each of us have a tendency for doing something. One boy raised his hand and stated, "my family is genetically prone to alcholism. If we have one drink, we're done for." (As I thought about it, I believe I'm prone to way too much hot chocolate in the winter time - I just bought 4 lbs of it--it was on sale...give me a break).

Then as the discussion moved on, the teacher began discussing homosexuals. He pointed out that they have done studies with children, boy or girl. He said that the some of the boys like to play with dolls, while some of the girls like to play with tonka trucks, and that some of the children have said "I don't want to be a ____ (fill in gender here)." The students were discussing the need not to judge others. We don't know what kind of things they have going on inside them, we don't know what struggles they go through.

Another boy raised his hand. "I'm gay." he said. "I haven't told too many people that, but its true. I have always struggled with it."

King Benjamin teaches us that, "the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord..." (Mosiah 3:19, emphasis added)

KacyAnn was talking to a friend of hers about this later and her friend said, "When you first turned 16 and your father gave you the old junker car as a gift, you didn't care whether the car dripped a little oil or the steering column was a little off. All you cared about was getting from point A to point B."

We accepted our gift to come here and to have a body. A body that may have chronic health problems, be prone to indulgences (hot cocoa notwithstanding), or not function properly. We didn't care, as long as it gets us from point A (this life) to point B (life after this).

Will it be hard to put off these tendencies; be whatever they are? Yep.

Will you be able to do it? Absolutely.

For with God, nothing is impossible.

....Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to go make some hot cocoa.

I'm right you're wrong....right?

Have you ever needed to be right?

No matter the cost?

I've thought recently about this need to be right. When I have a disagreement with my wife, I find myself holding emotions associated with anger; because of my need to be right.

To find who is right, one must establish what is right. Humility is the key to opening this door. If one can admit to themselves there is one way, truth and light then they can begin to find what is right.

If we're not willing to accept that, then we're not willing to walk in His ways, and to be about His business. To seek truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

And if we aren't doing that...what are we doing?

Other than filling voids with feasts that come from already malnourished satisfactory?