If you can't stand....

I do my best to be prepared.

With father's day just passing, being prepared to be a father has recently been on my mind. I remember going to the park as a child and going to the playground and saying,

"Watch me dad! Watch me! Look what I can do!"

Being prepared takes work. From being prepared for a disaster, to preparing yourself to be a star athlete.

You cannot become, without coming to work.

You cannot become a better husband or wife, without working at that.

You cannot become a better employee, better friend, without working to be that.

Heavenly Father knows this. He knows that we cannot abide with Him, unless we abide by his laws. Why then, do we make it so difficult?

Becoming is harder than doing. Becoming an athlete is different than doing athletic activities. Humility is one of...if not the hardest beginnings we can have.

The beginning of becoming is through the gates of humility.

...Maybe this is why we're asked to be like a little child....we could get down on our knees and instead of a list of "to-dos" we could say,

"Watch me Father! Watch me, look what I can become."

Watch the lights!

The other day I walked over to my kitchen and tried to turn on the light. It wouldn't turn on. I tried again....nothing.

"KacyAnn?"

"Yeah?"

"The kitchen light won't work."

After inspecting what could be the problem, KacyAnn noticed one of the breakers was flipped. KacyAnn said oh, this one is off. And she flips it...

POP!

It sparks and ALL the power goes out in the whole apartment. So...luckily I remembered that I still had lights from that time we played glow in the dark ultimate Frisbee a few years ago and so we were able to see and to get things done until the power company came.

Now, why do I tell you this?

I find it interesting how there are times when we all find ourselves in the dark. Be it because of our own choices, or otherwise. But even if someone else has done something to wrong us, we cannot forget that there is ALWAYS someone who can be there for us. And, like the power company, they may not be there right away. But they WILL be there. If we prepare ourselves, then those times may not be so bad, in fact, they may be a bit more bearable.

If we are humble.

If we are willing to ask for help.

And... if we are careful which switches we flip. Sometimes they spark.

POP!

Dirty Laundry

Have you ever looked at your dirty laundry and seen how much it can teach about repentance?

Think about it, or next time you look at it, think about it.

We have all these things that we do that make us 'dirty'. It may not be any fault of our own, but by our human nature we just get 'dirty'.

Now, most of the time we can 'clean' all the laundry ourselves. There are times though, that our 'load' gets too heavy. We need something to help us clean our load. A tool that will give leverage, or power---to carry our dirty loads and to have them become clean again.

Ah-ha! The magic of laundry baskets!

Cleaning your dirty laundry-It takes some effort on your part, but you have help.

Same is true of life.

Choices are made, and people get dirty.

But the Savior is here to help us carry our 'clothes'...to become clean again.

Don't ask me which soap to use though...that one you can figure out on your own.

Pray with me brotha'

Chad and I have pretty much lived together our whole lives. We shared a bedroom, and then when our basement was finished we pretty much lived alone in the basement together. Chad would call it our "man-pad" because we had our TV, couches, mini fridge, and microwave; and Mom's food storage too---which made food retrieval for 2 lazy boys, very handy.

Conversations with my little brother, Chad, never went quite as I had hoped.

"Shut up."

"You shut up ya idiot."

--Yeah, about like that. I was thinking recently about a time when Chad was just entering his teenage "saga" and mine was at it's peak.

(Girls = drive boys nuts! As a teenager)

One night, Chad and I had yelled at each other-and this was like BYU vs. UTAH rivalry game, Lakers vs. Celtics--type of yelling. He went to his room and slammed the door.

I sat there on the couch. Festering in myself and telling myself why I'm right and he's wrong. I was angry, and all I wanted to do was let that anger stir inside me. Then I thought, "go pray with him."

Yeah right! Pray with that?! I wouldn't be able to pray because Heavenly Father likes happy prayers and trust me...I am not happy!

Amulek, while preaching with the Prophet Alma, said unto his people, "Yea, humble yourselves, and continue in prayer unto him."

I walked to Chad's room, opened his door and said, "Hey, would you like to say a prayer with me?"

We continued doing that for about 2 weeks...every night.

Our relationship began to change, our friendship changed,

Our attitudes toward each other....changed.

Find times to pray.

Especially when you feel you have no need to improve.

And especially when you're angry---

Even if he is your little brother.

Neptune and Saturn

Have you ever looked through something and seen something different that what your natural eye can see?

For instance, a microscope, telescope, or a glass filled with water?

What happens to you when you learn this new perspective? Do you learn, apply, and grow to be a little taller...a little wiser?

Or do you just say, "that's great to see" and then do nothing about it?

Sometimes you have to really focus to see what you're trying to see. I remember going to look through this massive observatory telescope; I was hoping to see these amazing views and extraordinary pictures....

I saw little dots. Lame

It wasn't until the clouds had moved and the man in charge came up and said,"here let me adjust your view" that I started to see Saturn's rings and one of Neptune's moons.

We all have in our mind-eye what we want to something to look like. In talking to a lot of different people over the years, I've found that maybe it's more about finding within ourselves the humility to turn to the man in charge and say, "I can't see very well."

And then when the time is right, and the clouds have moved...He will come to you and say,

"Here, let me adjust your view."

And you'll be amazed what you'll be able to see.

You chose to leave

To quote the old man of Princess Bride, "Muewidge is what bwings us togeva, today."

Okay, so I'm not getting married for a week...but I'm still going to say some things related to it that are on my mind.

I have been trying to wrap my mind around something...I am not a professional in any field, nor am I perfect in everything I do, and everything I say, but I try to find ways to be better.

Why do we allow ourselves to "leave [our] father and mother...and cleave unto your [spouse]"... and then financial, communicative, or relationship strains occur...and we see people all around us who start to cleave to anyone but--be that friends, coworkers, church friends, pets, anything but that person they chose to cleave to. Interesting, we find anyone (or anything) to bring us those exact feelings that our spouse originally brought.

I understand people change. If I was still the same person I was when I was 15 years old...trust me, I would not be marrying the woman I am marrying in 8 days...but there are three fundamental principles that-if upheld, will keep you cleaving to whom your covenant or vow commits you to...your spouse.

One principle is loyalty. Elder Scott stated, "If you are married, are you faithful to your spouse mentally as well as physically?"1 I always think of KacyAnn's dogs when I think of loyalty. You can see how much they love that family. No matter how many times they're teased (like bottle rockets being shot at them and watching them bark at them when they pop). No matter how many times they do something they shouldn't do, and then they walk toward you with their tail between their legs... and you just know they're sorry. They find ways to enjoy their time with you, even when you know they'd prefer doing something else (usually eating). Loyalty is demonstrated through actions taken, not through words spoke.

Next, is the principle of humility. British nun, Monica Baldwin said, "What makes humility so desirable is the marvelous thing it does to us; it creates in us a capacity for the closest possible intimacy with God"2. If we're not willing to admit that we are wrong, how can we hold that against another? Finding how to improve and admitting you don't know everything, there lies untold power and strength. There sits ability to become more tomorrow than you are today.

Lastly, the principle pure love. You cannot be everything to everyone, but you can be someone to somebody. When you're married, that somebody is your spouse. I hope throughout my married life, my wife can question everything in the world...but never question how much I love her. My theory is--love does not conquer all in a relationship, but it certainly gives you a leg up on those competing for your place.

Do I know everything? Nope.

All I know is...I see a difference between Ryan now...and Ryan 10 years ago.

And it's not just because I got older.

Comprising a compromise

I love basketball.

I went to the basketball hall of fame....6 times, (It helped that I was living in Springfield, MA for 6 months).

I remember when I was 15 years old. My little brother, Chad and I, were tired of the swing set.

"Dad, I'm too old to swing on those flexible pieces of plastic connect to chains and whenever I go down the slide the little hornets nest gets disturbed and I run away screaming. Can't we get rid of the swing set and get a basketball court?"

(Okay-so maybe that is the worst run on sentence ever; and maybe it wasn't phrased quite the way I'm describing....except for the run away screaming part...but I was only 15 okay?....and the screaming part was mostly Chad...)

"Ryan, we can't throw out the swing set. Each post is cemented three feet into the sand pit with about four feet worth of cement on the post itself."

Now, my compromising skills weren't quite like they are now. So, they probably sounded as follows:

"But Dad!"
"No Ryan, we can't"
"But Dad!"
"No"
"Bu--"
"Ryan, this conversation is over."

Being my teenage self, and trying to find a way to show my dad that I do know everything. I came up with a plan.

"Hey Dad, what if Chad and I dug up the posts and chipped off the cement?"

"You really want to do that?"

".....yes.....and we can give the swing set to Mrs. Jensen's kids. They're little."

"Okay. If you do that, we'll get a basketball court."

I spent that entire summer sweating away, breaking my dad's pick-ax, and chizzling off that cement. But I got the court.

Sometimes compromising takes time.

Sometimes you have to step back, think a little different, and be willing to work.

...Even if it takes all summer.