To Lead with Confidence

Every once in a while I go to the gym. More times than not it's because my wife, KacyAnn is pushing me out of the house telling me I'm "a little fluffy", but I go.

A few weeks ago I went and played a pick-up basketball game at the gym. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Now, let me give you some background here - there is a full court game being played of 5-on-5. After one team wins, 5 other players in the gym form a quick team and go in to play the winning team. The winning team then continues to play until they lose a game or one of their players leaves. Pretty simple, right?

Not today.

The team we ended up forming were as follows: 5 white guys, all under 6'1" with one guy that - - well lets just say he was in his mid-50's and didn't look to be in basketball shape. The team we were up against?

5 Black guys, all over 6'5".

*Gulp*

As we started the game, I noticed something strange about one my teammates. I don't remember his name, but for the sake of my story we'll call him - David.

David was walking around to our team introducing himself and saying, "let's go guys we've got this. Let's go."

Yeah-let's just go home and save ourselves the beating that we're about to have put on us by this Goliath basketball team.

We start playing and David keeps passing the ball. To everyone on our team! Mr. Mid 50's would fumble a pass and he would shout, "That's alright man. That's alright we'll get it next time." He would pass the ball to a smaller guy on our team and he would make one. David would say, "I'm comin' to you next time hot hands."

He showed confidence in others, and they did what was needed to win.

Toward the end of this game we needed only 2 points to win the game. Because of my "fluff" I was a little late getting to that side of the floor. David tossed me ball at the top of the 3 point line and said, "Game winner right here baby."

Swish.

We ended up playing 2 more games in a row that night until David and I had to leave.

I wonder how much different the world, our jobs, and our families would be...if we just expressed more confidence in each other, our coworkers, and loved ones...

I bet more people would perform above their perceived potential. And probably knock down the winning shot a lot more than we realize...

"Game winner. Right here baby."

Swish.

We talk too much

"There's too much talk and not enough do."

I have few things in life that can really twist my 'annoyed' strings. One of them I realized one day while I was preaching the Gospel in Boston for the LDS church. I was in a brand new area where my preaching companion had been for quite some time. He knew the area better than anyone I had ever met. He was constantly telling me things I needed to do to help this area and he was constantly working with different church members to get them excited about helping us with the work we were doing. One day as we were walking home for lunch I was feeling pretty dejected. I was thinking of how we were constantly talking to people about the importance of doing something, and we talked about it all day long. But on this one afternoon walking home, it hit me -

There's too much talk and not enough do.

Do you realize this? Do I realize this?

I think talking is good. Talking gets us thinking, it gets ideas flowing, but it isn't until we act that we actually see the "fruit of the labor." It's like telling your mother that you want to plant a tree in her yard for her but never going outside to plant it. Just saying, over and over - I should plant a tree for you outside.

A similar process applies with repentance. We can talk ourselves out of repenting, and we can constantly tell ourselves we don't have anything to repent of, but it isn't until we act and truly go through the process to repent, that we discover the power of Christ's Atonement.

Doing righteousness has it's blessings, yes. But doing righteous for the sake of receiving blessings can make us less grateful for those. The Lord knows what blessings we truly need, and we can't do something "expecting a specific blessing for that."

My brother pointed this out to me and gave an example. He has just started school, and was married about a month ago. He was very worried about finances but said he had faith that God would help him. In the past month he said, "I've received a pay raise at work, my school funding came in, and I have enough money to purchase a better car so my wife and I can save money on gas and constant repairs. But these are things I didn't know I needed. God did. I was merely doing what I have been asked to do through God's Prophet and He has blessed me in the way He expected, not what I expected.

We talk about what we should do.

But we need to do what we've been talking about.

Progression Succession

One of my favorite quotes is "People are in favor of progress, it's the change they don't like." I think the reason I've come to love it so much is because it always begs the question..."Why is that?" 

From children to adults, if I was a social scientist for a living I would study this topic like mad. I remember times when I was younger, one of my siblings would do something and my parents would scold them and they would respond with "Sorry, I won't do it again." Then they do it again, and again, and again.

We all do it, you and me alike. But with all these short falls, there's gotta be a way to strive toward perfection. Let me share with you a few principles I've found to help in loving not only the progression, but the changing that coincides to it.

1. Stop thinking you are right about everything. You're not. Admit it. Move on.

2. Listen to others. Believe it or not, most people know a lot about a lot. From cars to relationships, they have something that can help you progress. Listen to feedback, suggestions, and anything someone tells you. Do you have to do all of it? Of course not. But it never hurts to try new ideas. If you don't think that's true, go back to Step 1.

3. Read what others have to say about things you are involved with. Yes, the scriptures are very good  tool to have and to read. But did God not bring us here with different talents and abilities so that we could 'edify and uplift one another'? If you're a parent, read parenting books. If you're a teacher, read how to teach better. If you're stressed about finances, read financing books. The list goes on. But if you don't think you need to do that, then go back to Step 1.

4. Trust that others may see things you don't. I remember growing up, I heard a church leader say "a wise man learns from his mistakes, a wiser man learns from the first wise man." How many times have you tried to warn a child, friend, or parent of something that you can see is taking them down a wrong path; and they do nothing? Are you happy when that happens? Now, on the flip-side.....has that child, friend or parent ever been you? If you don't think so, go back to Step 2. And if you still don't believe so after that, go back to Step 1.

5. Have humility in your heart. Notice I didn't just say have humility. But in your heart. Pray for it, read about it, find it in others. Humility is key to progression. It excites the mind to the world of possible changes it can achieve. Don't think you need humility? Go back to Step 1.

Start one at a time. 

Pray for guidance.

You will be amazed at the changing that can happen.

Whether you like it or not.

Don't believe me? Go back to Step 1.

Watch out! Someone may need you!

"When you practice perception, you practice following the spiritual promptings."

A few Sunday's ago, I was sitting in a church class with a couple of friends of mine Jared and Marcus. Jared has a cute little daughter, Launa that we were watching (being distracted in class) as she climbed in and out of chairs, through our legs, and Jared trying to stop her from eating random something's from the floor.

As she was climbing through the backs of one of the chairs...I noticed something. Each time she would stick her head through the back of the chair and smile at Marcus and I behind her; she would bring her head backward and Marcus would put his hand between Launa's head and the top of chair to prevent her from hitting her head. Then Marcus would move his hand, and as soon as Launa went through her smiling-distracting us boys from the lesson routine, there again, was Marcus and his hand. Marcus was perceiving. 

Having perception means not only that you are aware of your surroundings and what is happening, but you act on what you see as well. Like Marcus, you see something happening in your life and you do something about it. Perception takes practice, I'm sure that for some like Marcus; he has naturally been that way a majority of his life. He saw a child playing in a chair and because he has had so much practice with perception his mind didn't need to go through the thought process "This child is not going to know that if she puts her head up too quickly while still under this section of the chair, she will bump her head on the chair and that may not feel very good." No, he naturally did this. Launa never noticed that she had a possibility of bumping her head on the chair.

I think that our Heavenly Father is amazingly perceptive. He see us (his children) and he notices when we are going to bump our heads before we know we are going to. He has a higher perspective, and therefore He knows whether to help, or whether a lesson will be taught. Or both. 

How perceptive are you in your everyday life? How am I? Do you notice the people around you, or do you have blinders on from being so focused on the task in front of you? Have you noticed another's body language while you are talking; maybe about something that is personal to them but they won't tell you? Do you watch for the stressed one at work and try to help? Or have you done what I've done and thought you're too busy to help.

When you practice perception, you practice following the spiritual promptings. You begin to prioritize with the Spirit in mind, instead of your own agenda. 

I challenge you to be perceptive. If you're like me who needs a little more practice, next time someone is talking to you ask yourself two questions: 1. What can I do to help this person? 2. How can I see from their point of view?

Try it.

Or you may never know what you are able to see.

You can fly!

Trust me...it's possible.

Imagine yourself going to the top of a mountain. As you get to the top you look over this cliff and you can see for miles!

You see rivers and sunsets (just one) and trees (colored-it is fall of course) and you say with wide eyes "wow! this is amazing!"

"Jump." says this voice behind you.

"What?" you respond with this strange look on your face.

"Jump, if you do I'll make you fly." He says.

You notice that this man in front of you is wearing clothes a little different than yours. He's wearing all white...in the mountains. But you feel something. You know it's Him.

"I don't think I can," you respond. "I can't fly."

"Why not?" He asks. "Do you have faith in me?"

"Well...." you say as you frantically look for some other excuse not to look straight at Him and say, yes.

"Yeah, I do."

"Then jump. If you jump I can make you fly."

What holds you back from jumping? Is it fear of what might happen? Is it a lack of trust? We dig our heels so deep into the ground that we look at Him at times and say "I can't sorry, I'm stuck." When in fact all you needed to do was change our steps or direction.

What's your cliff you need to jump from?

You can fly.

Trust me...it's possible.

Jack and Jill

Jill didn't want to be "just like everyone else".

She wasn't like that. She ate different food, she liked different things, she was different.

"Why should I believe what everyone else believes? It obviously get's no one anywhere...all it is are blind sheep being led to the middle of nowhere. No thank you! I'll have none of it!"

Then an something happened.

Jill's best friend Jack, was critically injured.

He'd fallen down a hill.

Jill suddenly found herself wondering why she was here and what happens after being here.
"What happens if one day, I go tumbling after like Jack did?" What happens?"

Jill didn't know. She found herself searching for answers. One day she found them. She started attending church again every week, reading, praying--

All those things the "sheep" do.

Her friend Jack asked, "but what about being led blindly? What about being led to nowhere?"

Jill then said something that changed Jack's life.

"You can't be led blindly when you have faith in following the Shepard."

Jack and Jill went up the hill to be baptized in the water.
Jill went down, and changed her heart.
And Jack came in right after.