Wednesday, June 16, 2010
I love to hate you
I've noticed something recently. People love to be loved and hate to be hated, but they love to hate when they have a reason.
Example, a few weeks ago I was tired. (Ryan? Tired? No!) and I was hanging out with a few friends and one of my friends said a few comments to me and I reacted with a remark that probably wasn't the best. She reacted defensively, and I blew it off and went on with my life. Then, recently the other friend I was with told me that the other friend really doesn't like me...in fact...hate's me. Not only that but I find out there is another person in my ward that feels the same way. Because of something I said to him. The grudges are held, the love is lost, the feelings are hurt.
Now I almost walk on egg shells around them. My friend says,"Just be nice to them, you don't have to be their friend." I have an issue with that. I value being a friend and being the best I can be toward and for other people. So when I find that someone "hates" me, my sincerity for that person fades away. I feel fake. I don't like that.
I guess that's why forgiveness and the sacrament are so important for our daily lives and weeks. We can be forgiven for things we've done but it is up to the person whether they continue to see the dirt on your hands or not.
It's a love I try not to hate.